Crack Surgeons is a cooperative action video game developed and published by Panic Stations.

About

Mouth or butthole, you decide. Get in, get out, and save the patient!

Crack Surgeons is a chaotic cooperative surgery game for one-to-four backyard doctors with absolutely no business being inside a human body.

Your crew has been shrunk to microscopic size and sent inside patients traditional medicine has officially given up on. Diagnose bizarre ailments, worm your way through fleshy corridors, and perform life-saving procedures from the inside out.

Be precise. Be professional. Be very, very careful.

Key Features

• Chaotic cooperative surgery for one-to-four players.
• Choose from a selection of weird and wildly inadvisable surgeries.
• Shrink down and enter patients through questionable orifices.
• Diagnose bizarre ailments, clear out infections, and cure patients from the inside out.
• Grab, carry, drop, throw, rescue, and accidentally weaponise your fellow doctors.
• Watch the heartbeat! Hurt the patient too much and their condition will spiral towards flatlining.
• Explore a living, reactive body packed with infections, internal critters, and immune defences that do not appreciate visitors.
• Deal with spreading fires, spraying blood, exploding cysts, flying debris, and a body that refuses to stay still.
• Finish the job, save the patient, and send them an invoice for your highly specialised services.*

*Invoices do not guarantee medical success.

Save the Unsaveable

Traditional medicine took one look at these patients and said, “Absolutely not.”

That is where you come in.

Pick a mission, squeeze through an orifice, and get to the bottom of whatever unspeakable nonsense is happening in there. Maybe it’s an infection. Maybe it’s a suspicious growth. Maybe it’s a problem so strange that no respectable doctor would even put it in a textbook.

Find the ailment. Fix the ailment. Try not to cause too much destruction to the patient!

Once the patient is alive enough to complain about the bill, your work here is done.

Operate With Friends

A successful operation requires communication, trust, coordination, and at least one friend who knows when not to fire the laser.

Unfortunately, you have brought your actual friends.

Work together to move equipment, manage hazards, hold wounds closed, clear infections, and rescue coworkers from situations they personally caused. Pick each other up. Throw each other across the room. Maybe put someone in time out with the stitch tool!

There is no “I” in team. There is, however, an “I” in “I told you not to laser that.”

Use Questionable Surgical Equipment

Why pay for tiny medical equipment when you can make them yourself with duct tape and spit?

Crack Surgeons gives you access to the finest surgical tools that an office supply cupboard, abandoned utility closet, and deeply irresponsible procurement department can provide.

Use the sewing gun to close open wounds before the patient bleeds out.

Cut through troublesome body bits with the laser, while remembering that flesh, friends, and fire all have a complicated relationship.

Vacuum up liquids and launch them elsewhere.

Every tool can solve a problem. Every tool can also become the problem.

The Patient is Not a Map

This is not a neat little maze. It is a living body: wet, squishy, reactive, and increasingly upset that you are stomping around inside it.

The patient’s heartbeat is your alarm bell. Cause too much damage and it will race towards flatlining. Let things get critical, and the body will deploy antibodies. Its final line of defence against foreign intruders.

Unfortunately, that means you.

You will also encounter germs that thrive in infections, leave disgusting rubbish everywhere, and do not enjoy being poked, vacuumed, lasered, sewn, or otherwise professionally treated.

Cause Medical Chaos

Every procedure is a delicate ecosystem of flesh, fluids, tools, physics, and catastrophic knock-on effects.

A laser can start a fire. A fire can spread. A teammate can catch fire. An open wound can become a high-pressure blood cannon. A cyst can explode and send your entire surgical team flying into somewhere nobody intended to visit.

Then the patient hiccups.

Or sneezes.

Or farts.

Suddenly, your careful operation is no longer an operation. It is a workplace incident, a physics experiment, and a very persuasive argument for why you should never have been licensed in the first place.

The patient’s condition is critical.

Your invoice is already printing.

We Think You’ll Love Crack Surgeons If You Enjoy…

If you love friendslop games, or any of these: Surgeon Simulator, RV There Yet?, YAPYAP, PEAK, R.E.P.O., Bird Game 3, Content Warning, Lethal Company, We Gotta Go!, Roadside Research, MIMESIS, Escape the Backrooms, Chained Together, Cursed Companions, Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout, Scam Line, Burgling Gnome, Lockdown Protocol, Gamble With Your Friends, Super Battle Golf, or Pratfall Side Effects—you’ll love Crack Surgeons too!